ONE SMALL SUITCASE

I held the collar he handed me, pleading with his eyes, his words. It was what he had for the father he wanted, it meant he would belong to me. The leash? It wasn’t a solid collar but a choke collar, all I need do was pull the leash and it could do every thing from remind him to behave to stop his breathing, force him to the ground. Kill him if I so desired. He was horrifyingly serious.

My first impulse was to throw it away from both of us but….to do that was to suggest, maybe say, to him, I wasn’t as serious about being his father as he was about being my son.

“On your knees, head up.” He scrambled off the bed, my jizz still leaking from his ass, the ass reddened by the beating I’d given him because he insisted. I turned so that I was sitting on the edge, pulled his head into my crotch, put one finger under my still rigid prong. “You know where this goes.” He leaned forward. “Uh, uh, first gotta clean my nuts, get to it.” While he did that I lightly snapped the leash down his back, didn’t hurt him just reminded him who held the whip hand in the end whatever we did, whatever I let him do, away from our private lives. I could see him harden up which pleased me for after this ceremony of humiliation, he was to fuck me just as I’d fucked him.

“Suck it.” I could feel the warm moist place that would become home for my favorite organ when it wanted to relax, provide a semen supper for my kid.  His eyes were closed, he was into this knowing what the last action would be only not knowing how I’d do it.

“Slower, Don’t wanta shoot until you’re in me, get me off with your fuck tool.”

He pulled back. “Sir, Yes Sir”. Good thing he didn’t salute, would have knocked me in my nuts. He immediately returned to slurping on my tang, enjoying, this was what was making me his Father, his Dad, his Lieutenant, his Work Buddy and whatever other roles, God forbid, that he had in mind. This  wasn’t role playing now, as I relaxed and enjoyed the sensation of not quite shooting, was to him seeing how many ways we could be linked as father and son sexually. I suppose, just now, we were being porn stars and I wondered...films? Robin was not the sort to resist much of anything as witnessed by my suggesting he be staked out by a hole on a golf course, witnessed by his plans-shit I hope he’d abandon them-to go into a field, strip and fuck in the cold in the snow….of course, this overlooked the 69 we’d done on the dirt by side of the car on the shoulder not facing the freeway….It was time to stop him or I’d too far; Part of my plans for him sexing me was to have him pull out and eat me, both sides.

“Stop, head down, hands on  balls, squeeze them, show me the pain.”

There is no way of faking pain in your gonads. While he grasped the sack in his hard closed fist, I slipped the collar around his neck, started to pull it closed, looked down… “More pain, soldier, squeeze ‘em….or I will.” He was fighting tears.

Around his neck it was  tight enough cause his skin to compress into wrinkles.

“Stop” It was a scream more than a shout. “Up here, cock in ass, now, Dad wants to be fucked hard by his son!”

He released, jumped up, had me rolled and impaled almost immediately. Just as I hadn’t bothered to slowly enter him, he shoved himself I me, panting, both from his released opening throat as well as desire. For all that we’d done up to now, this was the one that cemented us, the exchange of fucks as father and son. Nothing holding us back, if we wanted to do it to each other, it would be done. Pain? Sure. Pleasure? Hopefully. Shared cum? Absolutely. This was the beginning, the one that said not only do I love you but I desire you, I need you, I want you….

Of the many things I increasingly wanted to know as his shaft slide in and out was….who taught him all this? He was no amateur, some kid who’d played around with a buddy but now had wandered into the real deal, this was a man who understood fucking, all of it, nothing off limits. Top? Bottom? Easy. Play hard with each other? He would be disappointed if we didn’t. Just there I gave his leash a solid tug to remind him….I, his father, wanted it hard from him. He read the signal and almost did push-ups to give himself the greatest range of penetration. I prayed for him to continue to grow, get a bull cock like mine, the sort that almost needs to be ringed. I wanted him, like me, to be hairy down there, fuck ‘man scaping’, if you grew a big patch of fur, only a man could do that. Feel your cock as it slid through the soft, tendrils of  ass moustache covering the hot, dripping male pussy lips, waiting to have a guy’s pillar of flesh push in. Oh, Yeah, that was going to be my kid, just like me, make him a beast in bed, almost a gentlemen, like his dad was almost a gentleman, elsewhere. Now he knew the truth, I took him because I knew I could love him but also because I knew something in him projected to me we could raise hell together. Fuck, we already were soldiers, almost took some slut in a handy market….and Jesus did he feel good. Gave him another tug, just to show him I wasn’t afraid to.

His arms were hooked around me, each nipple had it’s own set of fingers pinching, rolling, massaging it. I was trying to push back and forth in a futile attempt to get myself off but his idea was to keep me like a hot pole laying on the ground, waiting to be raised. I figured we’d go back to sucking each other, edging each other, fighting each other to force the explosion we would want but could not quite reach...not without the other man.

He was  beginning to shudder, he was close, his cock expanded...it was time t pull him off, let me eat him, raw, drooled into my mouth, licking the tendrils of sperm that didn’t get planted in the hole made for them. One thing, throwing him on his back, there was a butt to clean, to moisten, get that hair looking like a Rain Forest while his snake of a tongue found the tasty edges of the lips of a shit creek. He could get his mouth cock as hard as his other one, went in, made each side know it was being raked, trying to make it rise up to capture the white intruder, take it to the fleshy campsite, peel it….get it ready to be eaten alive….

Knowing that the best sex you’ve had, will have, can always have with you is your son who is also your man is a gift beyond understanding.

We lay on the bed, occasionally rolling just to do something with our bodies while our mouths grasped the thing only a man has to offer, their hard penis. How long we lay there? We edged each other and would not give up. How long? When I woke up beside him, my head on his hips, it was after midnight. Quietly I slipped away, took off his collar, got the covers pushed back and, keeping him beside me, put us to bed. Dirty, wet, cum covered and as satisfied as two men could be. In his sleep, as I knew as I drifted off, the good news was this was no one night stand just the first of….?

Late, after nine, it was light, he was wrapped around me like a child afraid of losing their favorite stuffed animal. As most men do, both of us were loosely holding our nuts, cocks just slightly stiff. I lay there letting my love for him increase, wondering how much he could love me and still...I’m haunted but wonder….where did he learn how to do all the things he clearly knew how to do. If it were just the driving, well, I was raised in ranch country where every male over,say, eight or ten, could drive anything with wheels, fuck whether it had an engine. My older brother, straight and never certain what to think of my preference for men but like a good brother, he loved me, could drive a harvester when he was twelve. It was possible….he’d been out for adoption, they told me this, several times and it was easy to imagine one of them might have been to a farm, a ranch, something where the man taught him to drive. Fine, that solved that. However...Sex? Drinking? That hysterical, vulgar, display in the shop? that’s learned behavior by observation not to mention his very good manners….when he needed them. One thing, I could sense his finding a kind of easy going, foul mouthed, relationship with me….which was great as far as I was concerned. I thought back to the soldier thing, his wanting us pretty much dressed as accurately as soldiers, the GI Joe his only toy...making us  so real that we got military discounts...then  in the restaurant, beer without being asked or questioned, the next night served Bourbon, same lack of inquiring about his age…..

I thought I could feel him move, seem to seek me in his sleep, his hand fumbling so I made it easy, led it to my crotch where he softly latched on, sighed, moved toward me and slipped back into his sleep. I wondered if he dreamed? One thing he did do with his hand full of me was slightly pump the package. I thought about moving but then had an idea….let him get my milk then gently wake him up to find he had his hand to lick, he looked up with is grey eyes, and smiled then turned his head down making the sounds a child makes when they’re eating something good. He finished. Straightened his body out, rolled to me….

“Thank you, Dad….In my sleep I dreamed……” he tensed “you weren’t there.”

I hugged him. “Dreams aren’t real. Hey, got a good idea to start the day, take a shower? Maybe find a barbershop, get a shave? Have room service send up breakfast...any of that sound good to you?”

“Can I shower with you?”

“Sure, that’s what I mean, as long as you want to, and there’s a big enough shower, we’ll always be together…..just like in everything.” Remembered something, forgot to buy robes….some place they’ll have those good thick Terry ones, maybe with hoods.”

“Can’t we just stay naked?”

“Yes but...for room service, other places...”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He brightened. “Guess that means we need to go shopping!.”

I ran my hand over my forehead. “Yep, that’s what it means and...I’ve got some things to get myself….”

He looked at me curiously...almost ask but then didn’t.

He felt his chin…. “Better add razors to that list. Toothpaste, you got a brush? Guess we don’t need combs…...that’s one sharp haircut on you….will you keep it that way?”

Just to sort of kid him but also get an answer I wondered about…. “Gonna be soldiering again?”

He grinned. “Had a good time? It meant a lot to me to have you….you know...agree.”

I grabbed him, held his back to me. “Soldier, I’ll do whatever you want so long as there are no children, doesn’t harm animals and there aren’t too many cameras….” And looked right at him. “I’d think a soldier son and his soldier dad should have their picture taken...whaddya think?”

“Wow, Dad, that’d be bitchin….know a photographer?”

“Not yet….but I bet the phone book has one….but...” I had a stupid idea. “Remember the guy where we bought our gear? I just bet...he’d like to have his stuff photographed, publicity for him….kinda think there were some things there you still wanted.”

Bingo. He was immediately for it. I’m not sure what he wanted but...something.

“Come on, lets hit the shower, it’s been a while...feeling good and clean feels almost as good as feeling good and fucked...” He smiled, stuck a finger up his ass. “Yeah, almost...nothing feels as good as my Dad’s cock….” He leaned down, took my dong, kissed it, looked up, kissed me then put his arm around me. “Lets go get wet.”

For all the jokes about saving water, showering with a friend, it’s not funny when it’s someone you love. Thing about hotels, they don’t run out of hot water giving us time to leisurely soap, rinse, then soap again, rubbing our slippery bodies across each other. Getting your cock and nuts well shampooed then the flesh massaged until….we both shot, missed the taste, flooded away in the torrent. Quick blast of cold and done.

Wrapped in thoughtfully provided bath sheets, we sat like two guys after the gym deciding whether to go home or try and sneak in a quick nine holes  before it got too dark. Each of us didn’t bother with the room service menu, just had them send up a triple continental breakfast, extra coffee, double orange juice. He looked at me…. “Dad, that’s just what I wanted….” I tried to look sneaky…. “Your ass told me last night.”

“Want it to tell you something this morning?” We both laughed. Whatever we decided to do, by the time we ate, decided on where what and what to wear it would be close to noon. IF we went back to the Army/Navy place, we had maybe a two or three hour drive. On a brainwave, and while Robin was using the bathroom, or would it be ‘the head’ in honor of our armed services, I found a receipt from the place called it and bet the guy who’d helped us was the owner and would be there; He was and he would be. Took him maybe a minute to fall in with the idea...knew the guy, did great work with soldiers, men, he was the photographer for the local sports teams….plus he had a couple ideas, if we’d do them, that he could use in advertising. It didn’t take me a nano second to know Robin would agree. Deal set, said to expect us around three.

I didn’t tell Robin, wanted to give him a surprise that showed how much I thought about him, what he’d like.

Stark naked and ready to get set for the day, I stopped him. Told him, honestly, how I liked men who had hair-excluding the haircuts. IF he was of a man scaping idea, tell me so I could prepare to accept it. His answer was to reach into my crotch, grab a fist full of fur, look at me, give it a tug, then smile.

“Know anything we can put on me to hurry the grass to grow long and tall?”

“You’re running this trip, where to?”

He reached in one of the bags, pulled out two pair of army green boxers and that was my answer. The good thing was that these were used, had got that softness this heavy sort of fabric does after multiple trips through an Army laundry, not the place for delicates.

Rather more quickly than I’d thought, my kid was a whizz at packing up plus breakfast was eaten while we got ready plus, thoughtful of the hotel, it came with some doggie bags and a disposable thermos...By eleven we were checked out, standing by the car, ready to roll. He hesitated, looked at me, I nodded, he got into the driver’s side. “Thanks.”

One thing I noticed, he was wearing his collar, the leash had been threaded down his right sleeve, hanging there, waiting for me to notice. I smiled to myself and, before we moved out, gave it a slight jerk. He looked at me, half smile and put his hand around his neck, just to make sure it was there. In a way I hated this; It wasn’t necessary except...it was to him. Okay, fine, that’s how it would be. For now.

He was a good driver, within an hour I’d quit backseat driving from the passenger seat. Didn’t say much...for a while.

“I guess you wondered about my driving...where, who….”

“It’d crossed my mind.”

“Can you reach my little case? Pull it up here, there are some things I need to show you.”

Suddenly I was cold. Why? No idea. I’d seen the inside, the collar the leash….

“On your lap, open it.”

He waited until I’d done so.

“Okay…...” He hesitated, whatever came next couldn’t be put back, unknown again. “Pull the lining from the lid, there’s a sort of tab on the right side, should slip right out.”

I did and a leather case fell out.

“Open it.”

Whatever I found out could maybe change what we’d just established.

“Robin….I don’t need to know….”

“Yeah….you do. Open it, take out what’s inside. There isn’t much.”

A military driver’s license….giving another name, the ‘John’ he’d said he hated. His age, 22, a residence, a military serial number, contact person, a name I’d never heard. BOQ card, some sort of ID, military but….nothing that said he was a soldier. I must have studied it for several minutes.

His face was solemn, he’d put on his Oakleys, his eyes told me...nothing.

“Figure it out?”

All I could do was shake my head.

“In the case, slide your fingers under the license, open it.”

Jesus, there was a picture of a man, not a young man fucking...a kid, couldn’t be more than….ten?

“You?….tell me it’s not...”

“Yep, me, oh and the general, can’t forget him, I don’t. He was my first placement. What could be better for a manly little boy? A general.”

“Robin, son...I, I….” My head plunged into my hands. “NONONONO….”

He pulled the car over. “Christopher, Dad….this is all behind me.” He stopped, looked out the window, opened the door, got out, walked around, leaned on the front of the hood, reached in, pulled out a cigar. The flame from the match got brighter as he inhaled then died. Pulling myself out, stood beside him, got out my newly acquired pack of smokes...he pulled another match across his boot, got me lit….we stood there, let the wind blow the match out.

“No point in telling you...all. What you need to know is that’s where I learned a lot. He had a group of younger officers who….had his tastes. For five years they also had me. Now listen, some of those guys were really nice, horribly ashamed of what they were, did, helped, protected for me.. when they could, still do. Look at me. That son of a bitch, that shit head, that cocksucker is now MINE….look at that picture, that’s me as I’m sure you figured out but look at them again, don’t see the act or me….see a man who trapped himself. ‘Member I said some of the guys were actually alright? He was blackmailing them with...I don’t, really doesn’t matter. Finally the one he trusted best, the one who protected me but he never knew it, got those pictures, told me how to use them then sent me back to the orphanage. The story they told people about me...Bull Shit, they had to say something….now, he’s still living, and existing in horror cuz his error, me, is out someplace. He can’t touch me but I can get what I want. That license, valid, I do know how to drive this….and right up to a tank. Drinking? In the BOQ both before and after I was fucked or whatever we did-hey, Dad, it wasn’t all bad...remember when you found you liked the ass? I did alright, gotta understand, there were some nice guys, taught me what I know...all of it. You can put the rest of it together.” He stopped, looked straight ahead, took a puff then looked at me. “Sir, I’m real damaged goods.”

I did not know what to say. The horizon seemed too close to us, I couldn’t hide him from the past and now….how to construct his future?

He stood there, calmly, seeming to enjoy his stogie, even under the glasses never looking at me, not sure he was looking at anything.